Process and Progress

 Hello, Here I am come again after being a bit discourage about my future. 

I'm not disregard God's will, but I'm just a bit anxious about my plan ahead. 

I'm a bit afraid but I'm sure I'm growing to be better everyday

I try to read a lot of books, pray a lot too. Also I join some classes that I interested. 

I can't really say  that I will be success, but everyday I strive to be the best version of me.

I still a bit afraid to open social media. I feel so pressure to see people's achievement. 

I don't mean to be jealous of those people, it's just me who needs to re-adjust my self. 

I  try to be honest with my own self, about my flaws, my trauma, my lacks of social skills, 

my own way to protect my well being. 

I need to sorting everything... in order to become my own self who is brave, kind and creative. 

I am really sorry if my attitude right now hurting you. I need time for my self.

Until 87 days later to my 30 years old birthday... I want to give myself the best present.. 

Ade Amelia who is ready to open new chapter, her own adventure.

BIG 5 Personality Test

 

I take Personality Test that suggested by Atomic Habits website.

Here is the link https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits/resources

https://www.personalityassessor.com/bigfive/

I got the Openness as my strongest point~ 

Here is the descriptions

Openness

You score higher in openness than 77% of other people. That's very high. Openness is a broad, diffuse personality dimension. Because of this, researchers originally had a difficult time naming this dimension and called it many different things in the past, including intellect and culture. Openness is similar to what Maslow described as self-actualization. Presently, most researchers call this personality dimension openness to experience.

People who are high in openness tend to love art, music, and literature. They are highly creative, whimsical, and insightful. They tend to be prone to intellectual discussion and processing new ideas. As its name suggests, individuals characterized by openness love new experiences, including visiting new places, trying new food, and hearing new ideas. Because of this, open individuals tend to be a little more politically liberal. Highly open people may take more time to reflect on their thoughts and feelings, and as such, may have greater self-insight.

Always be Grateful

Going on hiatus from social media and work somehow makes me feel isolated. 

Insecurity always there to makes me feel small and unimportant.

I hate these feelings still linger in my daily life.

But then, there are many things I can be proud of while I'm being away from online media scene. 

I can be focus on my own issues, I really eager to re-learn about my own self.

I make my self to read books as much as I could.

Making book club once in two weeks, still learning traditional dance and going to teach kids on the weekend. 

I also in my way to change my own bad habit. 

I really anxious about future, as I am going 30 years old in less than 100 days

I still haven't reach anything in my life

Somehow I asks my own self why I am being like this

But then, Its God's will

The only I could do is to keep being positive, to lean all of my problems to God. 

I still learn bit by bit. 

Right now, I should be grateful for my own siuation. 

Maybe I should log off again from social media until I have my confidence back

 

Learning to Animate~

 

Dirgahayu Indonesia~

 

Hello~ Starting New~

 

I consider lots of choices right now

But right now it seems fun to learn about illustrations all over again

Also I'm getting interested in simple animated illustration

Should I go for that direction or not?

Art Style

 Since I love to explore new things again, I spend my time to draw digitally 

Almost 1 month since I learn to use drawing tablet and I find it convenient, except for its really challenging to adapt with my hand. 

I get many respond online with my new art style. They said that it suit me and they really love how I use pastel colors. 

Actually I love watercolors too. Therefore, I need to challenge myself with variety of tools to define my own identity