Since pandemic occured, eventhough I felt a little anxious, honestly I feel so comfortable staying at home. Until then I realized that I really need social interactions. Moreover, I am ENFP who loves to meet people.
My February was really busy because of work. Almost everyday I have to talk in front of a lot of people, start from 08.00 AM, until 05.00 PM. Then, suddenly all of plans was laid off because of this pandemic.
The frequent online group meeting was really great at first. I have some of the closest circles of best friend whom I really comfortable mumbling around. We get to spent time online karaoke, doing weekend artclub, virtual travelling, watching movies, or just randomly catch up and throwing jokes.
Later on, online fatigue hit me hard. Maybe I still going on online fatigue until today. Working from home does not mean less work. I have to figure it all by myself, I have no one to talk to. This affected my schedule also. I get so unmotivated doing small tasks. We have online meetings but we can't even make jokes or have a chill session during work meeting. All we did and talked always about work. It really different when you can meet people in person. I really miss small talks or all of unimportant and spontaneous comments between jobs.
Doing collaboration online also a bit tricky. I can't feel the closeness with new people I met online. So its all only about work without any further closeness to make friendship. At this point, maybe I just a bit lonely. Maybe I just feel a bit lost.
Until then, I rarely talk with someone via chat, unless for messages related to work or with my closest friends.
All I did was watching something online, listening to the music bring joys. While doing chores or everyday tasks, have something to taken care of giving me a bit happiness. But then, all I want is to interact with people.
I have a really bad attitude with chatting and messaging online. Even my closest friend admit it. I just sent them replies with emoticon or very short words. It really important thing since my works related to the online class where I have to respond to their messages. I don't really like to spend my time messaging people. But then, this situation is getting worse and I have to adapt somehow.
In between being lost, lonely, thirst for getting social interaction, and added to the list: my non-existent love life, I download Bumble (you know some apps). It looks like I am trapped in uninteresting topics and lots of them not reply to any of my message. I did the same to several people. After some of questions and answers, I assumed that they are not interested in any topics with me (because I keep asking and its boring) I did my best to troll, give the cute GIF, ask silly questions to serious one. From manga fan to the musics, books and sports. I tried my best. Maybe its not the right time, maybe its the wrong place to seek comfort and long life partner.
Until then, I subscribe to the strangest service where you can get real time message from your favorite artist. In the format of 1 on 1 chat message. Its not a chat bot, its certified one where you get real text from them, eventhough they cannot reply to your chat personally but send them as broadcast. Still, they could read our replies and questions. .
I realized that, eventhough its only a simple message, you only want to get comforted with kind words. You only want someone to ask you:
"How was your day?"
and then ranting a lot about your worries and happy moments at that day. You only want someone to bubbling about their everyday experiences, even the smallest thing matter. I realized that in between, my heart skipped a bit every time I got the messages that full of affections. I learn a bit from it, and hope to do the same to other people. It's really hit me when the artist told us that he is lonely. He also only send the real, daily conversation that somehow, also the most important thing we need to know. To make sure they are in the safest place and doing good.
Somehow, it put my heart at warm feelings.
And it remind me with the old days when I shamelessly texting people because I just want to. Oh how I really miss the moment when I fall in love with someone.
About chat and messaging, nowadays its really hard for me to do that. Easier for me to talk face to face, meanwhile online chat can make misunderstanding here and there. My old habit is to make people wait, I replied them really late. I also never the one who initiated conversation. I should try harder.
Well, this time, I just want to share that: Don't judge me if I subscribe to the all of those apps (LoL)
I just want to know that in this pandemic time, where the situation haven't getting better and change time by time, check our closest friends, relations, family. Only short message:
How was your day? Are there anything you want to tell me? Something happened?
I believe there are people out there who really need those kind of words.
and... just a bit of cat videos or ice cream photos won't hurt 😆😻
