Saturday, January 30, 2016

Law of Attraction

You know you are almost going crazy
When you see his name everywhere,
like atleast 5 times a day! For months!

At this point I always shout or close my eyes whenever it happens!

Why oh why~

Sunday, January 3, 2016

The Look of Silence

As an Indonesian, I know that I have to learn more about our history
I'm feeling guilty though, I don't really pay attention when I was in school when it comes to history.
But now, in the middle of our country's chaos, I have to re-read the history,
why people become really sensitive with human right issue,
why politics become a terrifying choice for young adults like me
why our people feel terrified and angry with those who stand in our parliament

and the most important things and the scariest one, If I'm learning from the wrong sources, a product of propaganda that created by country itself.
Even I have to be selective with sources, neutral and wise with the board view point

I don't like politic though, but since last presidential election, I become more diligent to keep my view clear. So I have to enrich myself with knowledge about the candidate and country
This is democracy right? If I'm not using it well by choose what I think the best, then I feel guilty for those who fight for this to be happened.

But one thing keep me curious:
What happened with our country in 1965 when there are a lot of issue about human rights and communist party?

Once I remember, in my elementary school, we have to watch a film about G30SPKI which is not suitable for 3rd grade elementary kids. Too much violence and even I don't remember whats the story except for blood and beating people. Even it's not that entertaining like Rambo or other action films. This thing I found now realy odd. Don't you think the same? I know they try to told us about history but hemm.. I think thats not the right way.

Then, in high school, they told us about that thing again, but not from the other perspective. I know being a communist is wrong because we have Pancasila. The communist party is the the one who kidnap our general and ustadz and killed them Then no one tell us about extermination of people who suspected as communist party member. Then, this is beginning of my curiousity

I keep links about it in my draft but I don't open it until I search it again.
Interesting yet I have to face with our real history.
Then I found one film that I always wanted to watch but I don't have chance.
Finally they uploaded it in youtube.

The name of the movie is
"The Look of Silence"


Don't have to worry, its not film about propaganda or things like that
It just about justification between victim's family who visited the killer one by one. 
It's not about holding the grudge againts them,
They just wanted to ask the truth behind it.
Because you know, how do you feel when you have your darling son, who don't have any criminal history, to be beaten up just because of suspects and don't have chance to defending themself with justice?
The mother, she remember it well when she found her son have a lot of blood and open wound everywhere in his body. Not long before the mother find him, a lot of people took the son away, said that they want to bring the son to hospital, but never come back since then.

The most terrifying part is, the killers is their own neighbour, their own uncle, the victim's friends, who have brainwash and proudly telling the director of the films about their action. They are old now, but still remember it clearly and giggling over the story. 

Even, the killers family never know anything, until they get interviewed.
How do you feel when you know your father is one of executor and happily drink the blood of their victim? Or when they proudly said that they mutilated woman in the past? Even when they don't have any responsible and don't know if the victim is really a criminal or not?

Some of questions left unanswered, awkward silence break in a long time.

A lot of the people in neighbourhood left crazy until now and traumatic for the both side: victim's family, and the killers.

It left me a deep thought, a scary things really happened in the past. 
Who is wrong and who is right?
Mixture feeling, unknown one, 
Guilty, but can't do anything,

I think its not about communist who have a great deal at the past,
But, its about how our country legalize genocide without depending the suspect in the court of justice
Even when you don't know they are wrong or not
Or even they don't have any but just suspect without know anything at the first place

Even now it become worser if people in our government still smile widely for their action
They even don't think they are killers, but think they are hero.

The director, Joshua, put it in a great story
In a dramatical pictures but still in a humble way
Don't have any unimportant judgement and keep it flow without any tense
An example of a calming movie, in a really sensitive issue

Well done, sir
I believe this is not only happened in Indonesia
whole world already know what happened with human right,
yet they don't speak anything about it

One thing I have to keep:
Be clear of what information we get
Be cautious about what you share
Is it right? Is it true? Is it helping? Is it useful?
Use broadview when you suspect something
Use only the real one, ask yourself in your heart,
Be brave for the right one, 
Because its not about the evil, its about kind people who keep silent for the wrong thing they know happened 
Then I hope I can learn more about the past to make future better

I suggest you to watch it here

Stuck

Getting stuck is really suck.
I'm not really sure what I'm doing here
I'm not really sure wether I want to do it or not
Usually when I have problems, I just can crying, but this time I can't.
I just can't move on any further,
Is it just really my selfish mind or my lazy act?

I remember once I'm a leader, who can handle a lot of things at once.
I remember once, I'm a passionate person when it's come to things I really like

Should I quit?
Should I moving?
Should I just walking?

Now I thinking,
Is it what I really want?

Actually its really fun, but...
How come I'm not enjoying it?

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Penangkaran Rusa Cariu

















Happy Birthday!



Thankyouu Phatty~
Always thanks and happy birthday to you too~
I am lucky because I have a bestie who shared the same birthday with me :) 

In this new adult world, I think have a lot of friends is really wonderful thing, 
but I can't please everyone and afraid end up hurting them.. 
Its same with birthday.. 
I mean I really want to congratulate them who is really important to me,
But if I do that to everyone, I'm afraid I just did a sweet words without any real effort
'Congratulation, ' 'Happy Birthday', 'Happy New Year', etc.. 
Did you really mean it?
Or you just following other people to said that?

Have you ever making a real wishes for other people?
True from your heart?
Not only for socmed sake or other?

Then you are lucky :)

Make wish, congratulate them whom you really want to cherish

And thankyouuu for all of my friends who cherish me in my birthday :) 

Edinburgh






















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