Monday, July 10, 2017

Being Success or Failed

It is time for me to letting my Chevening scholarship gone, as I don't get any reply from my university about my uncoditional LOA. I feel really sad, but deep in my heart I've been blame myself for my pessimistic side.

Chevening is my first scholarship which I'm applied to. I wrote down my essay in 5 hours, uploaded it in the last day. Only miracle letting me get my interview invitation, even get my conditional award. Until one of my worry happened. Ready or not, I have to apply for the university which have a really high standard. Once again, I'm not that confidence. If not because of the Chevening requirement, I won't get my courage to spend more IDR 1 million to get my application done.

Until now, two more days, or else my scholarship will be handed to the reserved awardee. I promised myself I won't cry. 1 month feels like longer than a year. Two days will be my nerve-wrecking moment. Meanwhile, I should be grateful enough I'm preparing for my summer school at TU Delft, NL.

My pray everyday, only God know the best. I've tried, eventhough I know I'm not trying that hard. If my decision can affect and be a positive change even to my surroundings, then God know it will be my new learning proccess. If its only have benefit for myself, I hope I won't get it.

I'm writing this as my healing proccess, as I know I'm growing up writing my everyday moments. I won't forget this time of my life, since it be my important point in my life. Should I get my master degree? Should I lost it to earning more money?

Atleast, I have tried, than dreaming about it all day not doing anything.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Hope for Miracle

Waiting for miracle is the best feeling in the world...
You will be nervous from time to time,
waiting something good happen to you.
When the time is coming,
You can't imagine how you really grateful for the moment
Only in the second, you will forget the hardship you've been through
You will make it as the sweet fruit for all of your sacrifice

Every moments, whether its bad or good, should be cherish all the time.
And keep believing we will have a beautiful result in the end of our time
That's how we hold on for our life and after

Keep believing, Lia
You will know when the time is right
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