Me in 2019

Dear myself in 2019,
I know there are times you are dissappointed by your own expectation,
but you also know that you still be loved my many people, closest people around you.

I know there are times you lost your faith in yourself,'
however, still people trust you and thanking you for being there for them

I know you are tired of chasing your target and achievement,
but hey, take a slow walking and being grateful for moments sometimes can be entertaining.

I know for many years you have been longing for some love
but hey girl, You get it this year, growing some of love for being your awesome self.

I know that you are competitive in some aspects,
but then, this year you learn that life does not work like that.

I know sometimes you not feeling well and have a cloudy mind since you wake up in the morning
Hopefully you remember that life is not always sunny, the hard days makes it even greater journey

Love

In the end of 2017, I wrote a blog about my resolution in 2018. In that post I stated that want to be a greatest lover. Love for who I am, the love for how I define myself and how I contibute to my precious one. I promised I would learn more about that word and put more actions into it. I promised myself to love fearlessly and be great with it.

It turned out that love is a difficult lesson. I put my effort to be total in my passion. I also defended my believe only to protect things that I love.

In the process I was getting hurt. Many times.

Learning about my mistakes, get critized and pretended to be ok with it.
Getting crazily mad. Many times. I just acknowledge the other side of me when I have something to prove.
Testing my patient only to stay to do all of things that I love.

Also cried a lot in silent. But pretended to be fine with it until I have to find a sad movie as silly reason to cried my eyes out.
I have to face my fears. Many times. There are times when I was shaking only thinking about those things.

I also get disappointed many times with my own expectation.

Out of all those things, the worst feeling is when you think that nothing you can do to reach things you love even though you make efforts.

I am writing this only to calming myself.
To understand, sometimes there are things that out of our reach.

As an optimistic person, I try to conceal my sufferings with positive thoughts. It turned out that I am not reveal my true self. All I am doing is faking my true personality and not let my self grow.

Everyone is struggling to do what they love, we only do not know or prefer to not care at all.
For everything I have done and efforts behind it, it maybe unnecessary to reveal it all. But then, only ourselves understand and overcoming it. To do that, we just need a slightly motivation, effort and support. Asking for help also not bad, tho. 

Love is difficult lesson,
But then, for those who stays with us in our learning process are deserves to get special place in our heart. I really appreciate all of you who really cares and not even bored to listen to stories of my daily life.

For everyone who goes through this process, 

I may not an affectionate person, but let me know if you need me :)
I will do my best give out my love :)

Cinderella Sisters

Me Ame

 

Hari Pahlawan

Ame

Musim hujan akhirnya datang
Aku t'lah merindukannya
Musim hujan s'lalu terkenang
Aku mengingat indahnya

 

Dan hujan datang kemari
Temani diriku yang sepi
Deru derasnya mengiringi
Setiap kata yang berbisik di hati

 

Dan hujan datang kembali
Temani diriku yang sunyi
Jangan berhenti menyirami
Hingga 'ku terbangun di esok pagi

 

Musim hujan tahun sekarang
Masih teringat dirinya
Musim hujan yang akan datang
Aku harus relakannya

 

Dan hujan datang kemari
Temani diriku yang sepi
Deru derasnya mengiringi
Setiap kata yang berbisik di hati

 

Dan hujan datang kembali
Temani diriku yang sunyi
Jangan berhenti menyirami
Hingga 'ku terbangun di esok pagi

 

Musim hujan selamat datang
Janganlah engkau cepat menghilang

Dan hujan datang kemari
Temani diriku yang sepi

 
Deru derasnya mengiringi
Setiap kata yang berbisik di hati

Dan hujan datang kembali
Temani diriku yang sunyi

 
Jangan berhenti menyirami
Hingga 'ku terbangun di esok pagi

Dan hujan datang kemari
Temani diriku yang sepi

 
Deru derasnya mengiringi
Setiap kata yang berbisik di hati

Dan hujan datang kembali
Temani diriku yang sunyi

 
Jangan berhenti menyirami
Hingga 'ku terbangun di esok pagi

 

Musim hujan yang akan datang
Aku harus relakannya

 

by HiVi

 

 

You'll Miss Me

Think again
This isn’t our best effort
Why are you trying to hide your heart?
Look at me, things get mixed up so easily

Come closer, not like that
But warmly, like this
So you can be touched by the small sound of my heart
Let’s be together more


Before you appeared
I was lonely, no I was bored
You’re late anyway, you’ll regret it
The moment you turn around

You’ll miss me
You’ll miss me

Once you fall into me, there’s no answer
You can’t help it, it’s a new life

In your once dry days
I’ll cast a magic spell
I don’t really know why either
But everyone goes crazy

It’s alright if you leave
There are so many people who like me
Nothing to be sad over
It’s only bad for you
The moment you turn around

You’ll miss me
You’ll miss me

Once you fall into me, there’s no answer
You can’t help it, it’s a new life

(You’ll miss me
You’ll miss me
You’ll miss me
You’ll miss me)

Once you fall into me, there’s no answer
(No answer)
You can’t help it, it’s a new life
(Of course, of course)

Think again
Think again