Sunday, October 25, 2015


Pardon of bombing my selfie photo here,
I used to hate posting selfie photo actually,
but I want to tell you about me in my old days

Once, when I'm in my senior high school, I have serious issue about self-confident.
Before that, I believe I'm a bright girl, with average look but not enough to make me look down on myself. I think I'm good enough, I can dance, and I really enjoy public attention everytime I get chance to stand on a stage.

At that time I'm in an early stage of being teenager. I liked someone, I want to get into the circle of those popular girls, I want to get notice. But, all of that could only happened in my head. I have a really bad acnes all over my face, I soon to be a super shy girl. Moreover, when you liking someone and you feel not good about yourself, it can get you drowning in stressful.

What can you expect from this situation? Don't talk to me about take a selfie, even I hate seeing myself in front of mirror. Sometimes, kids near from my home would just yelling at me, telling me that I'm just ugly (seriously!). I'm not that close with girls in my class because I'm not confident enough. Those girls always gossiping about boys and I don't have any topic to talk with. At that time, I rather come late than arrived early and just sit like a fool. I have difficulty to talk in front of class. Even everytime we told to form a study group, I'm just an outcast. I rather choose studying alone in private course instead of come to the class. What you can expect from this situation? I have a reaaalllyy bad grade in my class. I rank 30/40 when in my prevoius year I rank 7/40. Eventhough I really dissapointed with my ownself, I relieved it already finished. No one pity of my downgrade because I'm too shy to share.

After that terrifying year, I realized its not my condition nor my environment that makes me drowning. It's just about me. I realize I just never loving my self with all of my heart. I always blame myself to be not pretty like others. I always comparing my self with others. I always looking for my own negative point than my good side. I always pitying myself because I can't join those girls group but I forgot I always have my best friend with me all the year. I always looking for something I don't have but I'm not grateful for what I've got. Since then I always promised myself to not let others affected my life in a negative way. I will not compared my self with others because I'm the one who decided my own happiness. It's okay to have problems because every people in this world had it. It become problem if we not grateful of what we have.

Get rid from lack of self confidence is really hard at the beginning. But the first thing you can do is treasure yourself, then treasure your closest friends/relatives who always there when you have problems. Promise yourself in the future to be a great person (just good is not enough!) and make your family and friends proud of you. I think that's enough to bring your own charm and let it shine so that people around you can see your potential.

Then, this is it..

My selfie here just to make sure, I am really grateful for who I am now,
#nofilterneeded #trustme #selfconfidence #smilebecauseyoulive

"Design Yourself"
You. Just decide what you will be. 

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