Namaku Hujan

Namaku Hujan

Aku ,
Tak bisa seramah matahari.
Aku memang agak dingin,
menyusup sedikit-sedikit lalu membuatmu jatuh sakit

Aku ingin bertemu denganmu,
sudah lama aku ingin.
Tapi musim kering ini menyulitkanku
aku hanya bisa menunggu angin

Aku jatuh hanya untukmu,
kamu yang merindukan seseorang,
kau hanya butuh aku untuk menyembunyikan air matamu

Ingin aku memelukmu,
namun aku takut membuatmu menggigil
aku berusaha sedikit, menahan tangisku juga
biarlah matahari yang menghangatkanmu,
bukan aku

Namaku Hujan,
aku datang karena ingin bertemu denganmu,
namun, selalu mentari cerah yang selalu orang rindukan
Ketika kita berpapasan,
kamu hanya berani menggenggam erat payungmu, berusaha sembunyi,
aku terlanjur lenyap tertelan tanah

Sendiri

Perempuan ini terbiasa mandiri
Hingga kini,
Hampir sepanjang hidupnya ia habiskan sendiri
Mungkin bukan maksudnya untuk seperti ini
Hingga tak tahu lagi apa itu rasanya sepi

Mungkin ia pernah bermimpi
Memiliki kekasih,
suami yang baik hati.
Juga bercita cita
merawat anak cucunya sampai mati

Tapi siapa sangka,
hingga usianya diawali angka 8,
ia memilih untuk sendiri

Bukannya ia tak punya hati,
Hatinya sangat lembut,
ia pakai untuk mengasuh anak jalanan yang ia kasihi
juga mengajar anak-anak perempuan menari
tak pernah ia lewatkan sehari
bersama anak-anak sambil bernyanyi

Tapi kadang orang-orang tak mau tahu
Mereka kerjanya gosip melulu
"perempuan macam apa tak punya suami"
"perawan tua, kamu tahu?"

Ia telah lama bersabar dan menanti
Bukan meratap atau menangisi
Tapi lembut hatinya kadang perih
semua orang memiliki takdirnya sendiri
tapi kadang tak semua mengerti

Sabar, kini ia tak merasa sakit lagi
Dikelilingi anak-anak yang sering ia lindungi
Ia melihat cahaya menjemputnya kesini
Lalu ia tersenyum,
kekasih abadinya telah datang menghampiri

I'll Give You A Present

I am going to show you a song

I'm going to whistle something for you

You know, looking at your clear eyes, you, standing there, barefoot,
my heart gets clear, too.

Even if we've run away together to a place far, far away -
I'm happy because I met you.
So now I am going to sing you a song.

I am going to give you a goat
I am going to put your shoes on you

You know, looking at your happy eyes, you, being there smiling;
my heart gets happy, too.

We're so far away in such a remote place,
but I am happy because I could help you.

So now I'm going to show you a song
Now I am going to give you a present.

-Dalmoon

Note: Well, the goat things really crack me up 

Sebuah Cerita

Kemarin, waktu yang menyenangkan karena bisa bertemu dengan sahabat

Walaupun kini kami menjalani hidup masing-masing, semua sepertinya baik-baik saja

Tentu saja, pertemuan seperti ini jadi agak jarang, aku pun kadang merasa hilang

Pertemuan seperti kemarin memang sangat jarang, maka itu aku berusaha datang

Bertemu sahabat, melempar kisah selama aku dan mereka tidak menghadiri kisah satu sama lainnya

Padahal dulu tak satu hari pun kami lepas dari kisah masing-masing 

Sampai aku ingat, mungkin hari terakhir kami memakai seragam

Kesempatan terakhir naik bus sekolah dan berkeliaran karena tak ada pelajaran

Janji kami saat itu, hanya sederhana

Bisa bertemu lagi dengan membawa kisah masing-masing,

Kisah yang dapat kami banggakan untuk diceritakan

Saat itu kami adalah sekumpulan sahabat yang memang masih sangat muda

Masalah apapun tak terlihat besar di mata kami, asalkan kami memiliki teman untuk berbagi

Kesempatan untuk menggapai mimpi masih terbuka sangat, sangat lebar

Mendukung mimpi masing-masing, 

Melepaskan satu sama lain,

Menghadapi kenyataan dunia bahwa hidup tak sesempit ruangan 7x8

Kemarin kami berkumpul kembali,

Bercerita tentang hidup

Bercerita pengalaman dan keluh kesah

Tak bisa dipungkiri, tak semua cerita berakhir menyenangkan dan bahagia

Aku pun sejujurnya merasakan kekecewaan itu

Ketika salah satu sahabat mengakuinya

Hal yang sering aku dengar jauh dari orang lain

Kini terasa sangat dekat dan terus terang bukan cerita yang ingin aku dengar darinya

Sejujurnya aku tak tahu apa yang harus aku lakukan

Ia sahabatku, tapi aku merasa gagal karena ternyata ia menyimpan deritanya begitu lama dan sendirian

Tanpa berkata apapun, Tanpa cerita apapun. 

Bahkan ketika sebelumnya aku pikir aku mengalami kejadian-kejadian tak menyenangkan

Sesaat sebelum itu, aku disadarkan bahwa banyak hal yang harus aku syukuri

Cerita kali ini, berbeda dari cerita kami sebelum-sebelumnya

Aku menyadari, hidup ini tak seindah pikir kami dulu

Sakitnya, deritanya, tangisnya, kini bukan lagi cerita hanya aku baca dari novel atau surat kabar

Sakitnya, deritanya, tangisnya, menohokku, terasa sedemikian jujurnya

Perjalanan pulang kemarin, benar-benar membawaku pada lamunan panjang...

Ketika aku merasa hidupku aman, apa yang terjadi dengan hidup orang lain?

Sebagai orang terdekatnya, apa yang bisa aku lakukan?

Cukup, kalau bisa cukup kali ini saja aku mendengarnya

Cerita itu, kalau pun memang adalah kekhilafan, cukup hanya kali itu saja

Kesalahannya sudah diganjar dengan beragam tanggung jawab yang ia emban

Kini waktuku menebus kehilanganku sebagai sahabatnya

Menurutnya, mendengarkan ceritanya, meskipun getir dan bukan sesuatu yang ia banggakan, saat ini adalah satu-satunya hal yang bisa aku lakukan dengan baik

Tanpa memotong cerita, tanpa menghakiminya terlalu cepat, tanpa meninggalkannya setelah apa yang ia akui salah untuk dilakukan

Aku benar-benar berharap, berdoa,

Semoga di lain kesempatan saat sahabat-sahabatku berkumpul,

Aku benar-benar ingin mendengar cerita kesuksesan kalian,

atau cerita tentang bangkitnya kalian dari kejatuhan

Aku ingin secepatnya mengejar kalian, sahabat-sahabat yang aku banggakan

Semoga cerita di pertemuan berikutnya....

From Suburban to Suburban

Well, this time I want to share my experience as a commuter who working far from my home. It's not as far as you tought maybe, but its definitely a killer: I have to spend minimum 1 hour to reach my office (not including waiting for the bus/train). The crowd is crazy, and I can't think I would do this more than 1 year.

I live in Srengseng Sawah. If you know that place, it just spend 15 minutes to Depok. This place  is way too south to be called as Jakarta. My office located at Bintaro, Tangerang Selatan, which mean I have to go from the south to the west.

Not that far, If you think it can be reach 30 min to 45 min via Tol. Its about 20km away from my home. But I couldn't always hop on a someone else car everyday, right? Could you wondering how many times I would change the mode if I use public transportation?

The first time i figure how to reach the place is with commuterline. It would spend about Rp. 3000,- but I have to transit once in Tanah Abang, then I have to get line 5 or 6 and make all the way to Pondok Ranji. After taking a train, I can just walking for about 15 minutes from the station. My spent for transportation is:
Home-Station with bus 83 (15 minutes): IDR 4k
Lenteng agung - Pondok Ranji via commline (90min to 120min): IDR 3k
Pondok Ranji to Lenteng Agung via commline (90min to 120min): IDR 3K
Lenteng Agung to my Home with Ojek (10 minutes) IDR 10K
Total IDR 20K - for 1 month IDR 440K
Total time spent : 2Hours

The cost varies depend on what time you arrived. I swear I won't go at 6am to 8am because the crowd is crazy. How come you just push yourself and don't think about the harm that may come to you if you push your body to train full of people? All of this people think is just arrived at their office but not thinking about their safety. Several times I look at people who get unconscious after taking a train and they have to get medical treatment at station. I mean, come on. I always get emotional everytime I push my self to this kind of situation. All I can see is just greedy people who don't even care about others. The bad thing about take commline is: You get trough the busiest station in the gold triangle business district before you transit. So mostly all of people from south (Bogor),go there.

On the other side, taking train give me more chance to meet new people, even old friends. I realize this after several times I bump with my friends and have chance to chatting with them. Maybe because ALL of people taking train, then more chance for me to meet them. Well, that's one nice thing. One more thing is: I can read a book in a train or sleep (if I'm lucky enough to sit)

Because I'm easily get bored, I think I have to try another transportation mode. One of easiest, cheapest, quick but put you in a danger more than any transportation: Driving your own motorcycle.

Bring motorcycle is not as hard as I think at first. Actually its faster than riding commuterline if you know the way. When the first time I use my motorcycle, I arrived between 30 to 45 minutes from Pasar Minggu. There are some of rute I already tried, and I found the fastest way.

Best time to go: 8.30-9.00.
Cost: IDR 30K to IDR 40k /week
Total spent time: 45min to 90 min
Route:
1. Lenteng AGung-Pasar Minggu - Kemang - Antasari - Cipete - Fatmawati - Pd.Indah - Bintaro
2. Srengseng Sawah - Jagakarsa - Cilandak - Antasari - Cipete - Fatmawati - Pd.Indah - Bintaro
3. Srengseng Sawah - Jagakarsa - Cilandak - Antasari - Cipete - Fatmawati - Pd.Indah - Ciputat - Bintaro

The hardest thing to use motorcycle is when you have to ride this everyday. There is no way you can take a rest in an hour journey. Somehow my body can't take the struggle, because my right hand and my back starting getting hurt nowadays. Not only my body,I feel so alone yet I feel disturb with the crowd of all this machine. All of those honk-honk-honk eventually makes me really tired, mentally and psysically. I used to arrived at 8-10 pm. I don't have energy to do anything but sleep.

If you think I'm so worn out because I'm riding it by my self, what if I use Gojek (just like Uber but motorcycle vers)?
Well I'm using it before. I just pay around IDR 10K (well, it almost 20km to reach my home)
I think, my body really hurt (especially my feet) because we just sit and sit. I'm a bit bored, even sleep on the way to my home (yes I put my self in a danger). After riding it, my legs are shaking and my butts really hurt. Thankyou, thankyou. If not in a hurry, maybe I will not use any gojek. I prefer riding it by myself.

How about taking bus?
Take a a bus, especially in Jakarta, is not an easy job.

Self-Confidence

Pardon of bombing my selfie photo here,

I used to hate posting selfie photo actually,

but I want to tell you about me in my old days

Once, when I'm in my senior high school, I have serious issue about self-confident.

Before that, I believe I'm a bright girl, with average look but not enough to make me look down on myself. I think I'm good enough, I can dance, and I really enjoy public attention everytime I get chance to stand on a stage.

At that time I'm in an early stage of being teenager. I liked someone, I want to get into the circle of those popular girls, I want to get notice. But, all of that could only happened in my head. I have a really bad acnes all over my face, I soon to be a super shy girl. Moreover, when you liking someone and you feel not good about yourself, it can get you drowning in stressful.

What can you expect from this situation? Don't talk to me about take a selfie, even I hate seeing myself in front of mirror. Sometimes, kids near from my home would just yelling at me, telling me that I'm just ugly (seriously!). I'm not that close with girls in my class because I'm not confident enough. Those girls always gossiping about boys and I don't have any topic to talk with. At that time, I rather come late than arrived early and just sit like a fool. I have difficulty to talk in front of class. Even everytime we told to form a study group, I'm just an outcast. I rather choose studying alone in private course instead of come to the class. What you can expect from this situation? I have a reaaalllyy bad grade in my class. I rank 30/40 when in my prevoius year I rank 7/40. Eventhough I really dissapointed with my ownself, I relieved it already finished. No one pity of my downgrade because I'm too shy to share.

After that terrifying year, I realized its not my condition nor my environment that makes me drowning. It's just about me. I realize I just never loving my self with all of my heart. I always blame myself to be not pretty like others. I always comparing my self with others. I always looking for my own negative point than my good side. I always pitying myself because I can't join those girls group but I forgot I always have my best friend with me all the year. I always looking for something I don't have but I'm not grateful for what I've got. Since then I always promised myself to not let others affected my life in a negative way. I will not compared my self with others because I'm the one who decided my own happiness. It's okay to have problems because every people in this world had it. It become problem if we not grateful of what we have.

Get rid from lack of self confidence is really hard at the beginning. But the first thing you can do is treasure yourself, then treasure your closest friends/relatives who always there when you have problems. Promise yourself in the future to be a great person (just good is not enough!) and make your family and friends proud of you. I think that's enough to bring your own charm and let it shine so that people around you can see your potential.

Then, this is it..

My selfie here just to make sure, I am really grateful for who I am now,
#nofilterneeded #trustme #selfconfidence #smilebecauseyoulive

"Design Yourself"

You. Just decide what you will be.