Greget Jawara

Thanks for coming~~!

Depressing Clock

I’m depressed, it’s depressing,
at this time, I’m depressed
I’m depressed, it’s depressing,
what time is it now? 11:30
I’m depressed, it’s depressing,
the gloomy clock ticks

I’m depressed, it’s depressing,
why did I eat the ramen? I probably gained weight
It’s raining, it’s raining,
making things sticky, it keeps raining
I’m sleepy, I’m sleepy,
I’m too lazy to do anything

When time passes,
the breakup that tore my heart apart
When time passes,
the young memories that kicked away at the blankets

It gets forgotten, gets forgotten,
it just passes right by
It gets forgotten, gets forgotten,
but back then I thought that was everything

When time passes, this depression now
When time passes,
the things I said were hard and complained about
They will become things of the past,

the sharp and emotional memories
They will become dull, become dull
like a square wearing down to become a circle

I’m depressed, it’s depressing,
becoming dull is depressing

I’m bitter, bitter,
as if I’m drinking herbal medicine

I’m depressed, it’s depressing,
it’s not a big deal but I’m depressed

I’m depressed, it’s depressing,
as if I’m eating bitter fruit, I’m depressed

RIP Jonghyun,
I'm listening to your composed song while having a hard time in 2013
I did not realize that depression is something that you cannot escape,
no matter how people around you trying to help
I am not depressed, but frankly everything at that time was so stressfull
I just want to hide at home, until my best friends calling me to come and passing the hard time together...

Still, you make a beautiful melody out of your struggles
I am the one who get comforted through IU's voice while trying to understand the lyrics means.

"When time passes,
the things I said were hard and complained about
They will become things of the past"

Wul's Wedding~

Vlogging! KIJP Batch Pulau Panggang

Haloo~
Minggu lalu aku dapat kesempatan untuk nimbrung jadi relawan dokum di Komunitas Inspirasi Jelajah Pulau!

Seneng ketemu lagi sama dedek-dedek gemesh dan kakak-kakaknya yang sok gemes~

Sempat gak enak juga sama temen-temen relawan sepulau karena sering ga dateng rapat ditinggal buat acara kantor huhu..
Dan sekarang kembali gagal move on sama KIJP~
By the way, ini batch ketiga yang aku ikuti.
Setelah sekian kali ikutan Kelas Inspirasi di Jabodetabek, Komunitas Inspirasi Jelajah Pulau emang beda~ terbukti dengan aku yang udah ikutan 3 kali hahahaa ga kapok-kapok dan bosen daftar lagi.

Untuk temen-temen yang minat daftar KIJP tahun-tahun depan, sok atuh cek websitenya di SINI

Love Advice

Being too cold is being stuck-up

Being too open- minded is being too easy

Being too cool makes him upset

Being nice makes him tired

What should i do

When i find one little thing that bothers me

I suddenly start hating everything about him

I know there is no perfect man

But I'm becoming more picky

Now i find what a true love is

After breaking up, True love

Too late when you regret

Trust me, be good when he's with you

If you go out with a random person out of loneliness

You'll still be lonely after all

If you are looking for the true love

 Stay brave and bold

when you're alone too 

I'm telling you

Chattering about guys

Everyday all day long

But you don't want a blind date

You want destiny

What should i do

Now i find what a true love is

After breaking up, True love

Too late when you regret

Trust me, be good when he's with you

If you start being picky

Nobody can satisfy you

If you want love right now

Keep your mind open and think

Whoever you find

Be honest and show who you are

Take your courage when asking out

It will happen once in your life

I'm telling you because it's you

Enjoying to Become Myself

As a girl whom already reach 25 years old, it is not easy to live without expectation of having life partner. I am not bother with my single status but the pressure from everywhere makes me questioned my life. What is wrong with me? Or what is wrong with having single status? Or to make it sounds more misserable: 25 and never have a date. Even my mom surprise. I'm not sure I should be laughing or crying :""D

Yes I am alone but I never been feels I am completely alone. I always try to find new friend and after that I never felt I am all alone. I never been in situation where I have no one to depend on. I also never been far away from home for more than 2 months :""D. 

Sometimes when decided something, I also depend on other people. I am not sure it is part of tolerance or not being able to independent. Thinking about how I also involved in organisation as coordinator and have situation to decided something important, I think independency is not my problem though.

People also said: You haven't meet enough people to meet the right one. Hmmm... atleast I've tried? Almost every year I joined new activities where I met new people. But it is not the only one case, right? Sometimes, I also feel like blamed for not married yet by my ganks because I am the oldest among them. I know its not supposedly to become joke and it means they are praying for me also but you know, sometimes its growing my concern.

Last summer, I was experiencing three weeks of solo travel to the Netherlands. Somehow it change my perspective about being independent. For me, who never been living far away from home for more than 2 months, the experience triggered my independency and my self confidence. All of my friend whom already travel with me also know that I am the type of people who just sit back while all of them busy with something. You know what? My best friends were worried that I will sleep in the airport and missed my plane X''D

Being alone in a room, in the middle of stranger's country feels really odd. The emptiness somehow suffocated me. But then I've heard my inner voice talking. So I am more obedient to myself : cooking while I am hungry, cleaning my room everytime I feel unconvenient, singing along while listening to the music, writing blog everytime I feel mellow. I realized that while I'm away from home, there will be no one who giving me instructions to do this and that. I'm the only one who responsible to myself. 

Living in the same home for all of my life time, I am afraid that I can't be more familiar with different environment. But then, I have to admit that : maybe it is the time for me to leaving my house, taking another adventure and life experiences. While I am nowhere by myself, I feels like I become more brave and confident. Strange feeling yet exciting.

While in the Netherlands, I decided to take my solo journey by train and bike to another cities. While thinking about that, I worried to death. I might be lost or getting hurt on the way. Or I just worrying something that will likely never happened. One thing for sure: I want to know how far I got to test my courage all alone!

So I've spent my last 3 days to explore Utrecht, Denhaag and Leiden. I went to Utrecht by train and the rest by bike. I have to biking for total 34 km back and forth to Denhaag just to see Madurodam. The next day, I went to Leiden by bike which 27 km away from Delft. I have to pay extra attention to direction in google maps. Since I have no internet data, I have to keep the app open all the time.

First thing to spot on while you leaving Delft city

Since I was in a country that using bike all the time, their bike routes are well-developed~

No need to worry about the route.. The direction in google map also easy to follow. Compared with I've been through in HongKong, the landscape of NL is flat and mostly you only have to pay attention of where the river go. Bike routes mostly following the canals. 

No need to worry if no one took your photo, just find one of big window glass, or mirror!

 

I always can visit my favourite places without feeling uneasy... Or being too tolerate with my travel buddy.

 

Or stopped at the right place, whenever I feel tired, to have my own ice cream.

To meet this cute new friend... while enjoying my packed lunch..

 

Or stop awhile to take many photos of beautiful moments

These experiences give me different kind of being independent. Still, after all of that journey, I really missed to have conversation with my friend. But somehow, taking yourself to big journey, alone, is not a sad moment tho. I feels like dating my self (LOL :""). I always drag myself to accomplish something with all of deadline, always putting myself to pressure. While taking a solo journey, I can listen to myself, louder than before. All of conversation between me and myself. Still, I am in the middle of 20++ middle crisis. Talking and knowing ourself is the most important thing in this phase.

Maybe before I could listen to other people, or someone who will be with me all of my life, firstly I have to learn listening to myself. Also, I need to take my independent journey to a higher stage. I always believe that if God do not put ourself to certain condition that we always wanted, it means we haven't finish with the previous test. It might be the same with marriage, getting scholarship, get successful, being famous, and so on. I haven't finish yet with myself, so that God haven't sent me someone that I will taken care for.

Latihan di RPTRA Citra Betawi

Halooo~ hari ini Seri Seni latihan nari di RPTRA Citra Betawi. RPTRA adalah Ruang Publik Terpadu Ramah Anak, yang merupakan salah satu agenda besar perencanaan kota DKI Jakarta untuk menuju kota yang ramah anak. Letak RPTRA ini cuma beberapa langkah dari rumah hhaaaa jadi gampang buat ijin pakai tempatnya~

Anak-anak excited banget waktu mau latihan di sana. Tapi yaah banyak distraksi nyaa. Entah katanya malu lah, banyak mainan lah, banyak yang nonton lah~

Well, sepertinya seru kalo diadakan kegiatan rutin di sini. Doakan Seri Seni bisa menjadi suatu wadah untuk anak-anak maupun remaja mengembangkan kreativitasnya~

International Conference on Sustainable Architecture in Nusantara (INSAN 2017)

 

This time I want to share my story about INSAN 2017 and how I go to Malang for the 1st time~

INSAN 2017 is a conference held by architecture department of Universitas Brawijaya Malang and TU Wien supported by Nippon Paint. I sent my abstract and paper before June 2017 and got reviewed by the academician from those campuses. I write about how children could give suggestions to the planning by giving them chance to participate. I also write about how children's drawing could give information regarding to the idea about ideal environment by their version.

Honestly, I sent the revision paper later than the deadline. I know, my bad :"". Even my bestfriend, also the co-writer, Pia, always reminding me about that but I did not even know when to do the revision~
Until I have to go to Malang and attended the real event but I haven't had my presentation done.
I'm working on the presentation at the train for about 15 hours. On economy train. :""

After we arrived at the Malang station, we even did not bother to use GrabCar or GoCar. We just hop on the local angkot. Our capsule hotel is nearby, it only takes less than 8 minutes from station. We just checked-in to get shower and go to the Atria Hotel for the conference.

It was bigger venue than I imagined. Even compared to S.ARCH HongKong, this venue was so much better, with almost all of seats occupied. I never have presentation in this big stage before. I just make my presentation script while all of key speaker performed to open the conference. 

I supposed to perform at 15.30. But then I have to got into the stage at 13.30. Wow~~

The speaker before me was a master student from Australia who was talking about architecture critique of modern building in Indonesia. I never did any paper about critics of architecture so it was new experience for me. I was thinking all the time: Is it okay if we critics the architecture this way? Because I always careful when comparing one to another projects. 

My presentation was so different from other as I have so much colors in my slides. I can't help, because I was talking about children's drawings. While doing this paper and presentation, I always thinking about my experiences in Sama Bahari village, so nostalgic! I was thinking about doing research about urban and children, so thats why I eager to make this presentation as interesting as I could. 

A moment when they announced the best presenter and best paper, what I was doing at that time is chewing my cookie while I had my coffee break. When they mention my name, I almost chocked. I was walking to the stage with mouth full of the cake. Blaahh

Pia, who was still in prayer room at that time, only laughing while she enter the room without knowing why I have to stand in front of all the people, shaking hand with the Head of Committee. 

Unforgetttable moment yet, silly. You would not know my struggle to chew my cake while walking to the stage :""D

 

And here is my presentation~ hope it could be inspiration for you who have the same interest with me~ feel free to discuss~ also if you want to know how to go toWakatobi Island or have a plan to stay with Bajau people, I also open for that information~

Architect as a Citizen.. or Citizen as an Architect?

Two days ago, I went to the waterfront kampung in northern part of Jakarta. This area is not an usual kind of territory. This area already shaking off the power of government to demolish people living near from the river. The people are refused to move, otherwise they are willingly give the attention to the river and cut off their own home in order to give more space for the water.

Maybe we will judge them as a slum. But you will awestruck by their experiences and knowledge of their own living environment as soon as you met them. If government already demolish them, maybe I will not meet them yesterday. They are open for any kind of learning process and make the knowledge as a tool to achieve sustainable living on their own.

On the other hand, I also wondering what if architects meet them. Should I be worry or not? In fact, this area working with Architecture Sans Frontieres Indonesia. Gratefully they giving the community room for being architect themselves. As architect, giving other people space to make their own design is not something that we always do. It means that we have to give more time for people to fully understand the environment and their needs while the architects learning to become one with the community. It is not easy to let go our ego and throw all of our westernize technical knowledge in order to humbly learning from them.

If you ask me, If I am an architect, maybe my suggestion also to make this area to as similar as Dutch people do with the river. But that is not the point if we try to meet them personally. We have different people with different ways of life. Or should we make them move to the highrise community housing?

As I am not architect yet, my job now is to learning from them. All of things seems new. I am not sure what kind of role that I will take but to write this blog to asking some of the questions that I can not answer: What will architect do in the future? What if our job destroying the humbleness of people in kampung city? What if our design also make our city suffering?

Then, I will save the questions for tomorrow, maybe I will not become an architect, maybe in the future definition of architect will expand much more than now.
I am grateful enough to enjoying this cold Barongko, made from banana and coconut milk while introducing myself to the river community and activists

Selamat makan~!

Thinking other than Architecture~

I'm thinking about something random these days. So many unexpected moments this year. I like imagining things but somehow it makes me feel both tired and happy.

I was waking up with different kind of feeling today~ Its like you are falling in love with something that you don't even know what. I'm dreaming something, but I can't even recall what it is. Strange feeling yet excitedly awesome~

Today, after I woke up with those kind of wonderful feeling, I decided to took train to my workplace. Riding train always give me a chance to read. Luckily, I got a seat and it was not even crowded. I found several interesting things from Peter Zumthor: Thinking Architecture.

Honestly, this is my first time reading this book out of my curiousity. I was reading it in my college years but only for assignment. I found it not as heavy as I remember when I was a freshmen. Actually, it is light reading material, yet deep and multi-interpreted. I found that in order to work, Peter Zumthor always using first person perspective:... I would choose material..., I see that..., I build something..., my work...etc. At first this would enhance my prejudice: architect is a self-centre people. All of things he decided are based on his memories, experiences, and knowledge. At the same time, he also admitted what he is lacking. Or what he regretted. He shows that he just human being. This book also the compilation of his writings which randomly connected to architecture. From nature, landscape, light, building, houses, to bikini.

I don't know what will I took from this book, but mostly I'm enjoying his writing as there are many of beautiful words written. Who's not enjoying morning train riding with a great and beautiful book?

Summer School in TU Delft

World of Ghibli

 

Menarilah... Denganku...

Di depan teras rumah
Fana merah jambu,
Ku berdua

Moment-moment tak palsu
Air tuhan turun,
Aromamu

Tersaluran aliran syaraf buntu
Martin tua media pembuka

Berdansa sore hariku
Sejiwa alam dan duniamu
Melebur sifat kaku-ku
Hal bodoh jadi lucu
Obrolan tak perlu,
Kala itu

Tersalurkan aliran syaraf buntu
Martin tua media pembuka
Berdansa sore hariku
Sejiwa alam dan duniamu
Melebur sifat kaku-ku

Rasanya tak cukup waktu
Terlalu cepat berlalu
Soreku nyaman denganmu
Menarilah, Menarilah
Menarilah, Denganku

Genggam tangan coklatku
Berputar-putar denganku
Menarilah, Menarilah...


Menarilah, Menarilah
Menarilah,
Denganku....

credit: @fourtwntymusic

Crossing Path

Ada kalanya ketika kita sedang dihadapkan kepada beragam pilihan, kita selalu bertanya, apa yang akan kita temui jika kita memilih A? Atau apa yang tidak akan saya temukan jika saya pilih untuk melakukan B?

Hal seperti itu selalu muncul, baik kita sadari maupun tidak. Namun, ada satu hal yang saya selalu ingat.

Ketika lulus dari SMA, saya dihadapkan pada 2 pilihan yang menurut saya sangat sulit: diterima di 2 kampus negeri dengan jurusan yang berbeda pula. Apakah saya akan melewatkan sesuatu jika saya tidak pilih A? Apakah saya akan melewatkan kesempatan merantau jika saya pilih kampus B? Apa saya akan mendapat pekerjaan yang lebih enak jika saya belajar di A?

Namun, kadang satu celetukan sahabat membuat saya sadar sejenak:
"Kalo lo gak pilih ni kampus, lo ga bakal ketemu gue"

Well, saya masih bloon saat itu. Kenapa harus ketemu sama kamu? Apa pengaruhnya buat hidup saya?

Namun, sejak saat itu, kita selalu bertemu dengan orang lain yang baru kita kenal. Orang tersebut bisa jadi seseorang yang sangat penting bagi kita nanti, atau hanya tempat berbagi sejenak, atau ternyata memiliki hubungan dengan teman kita yang lain, bisa jadi pula mengantar kita menemukan hal-hal baru yang tak pernah terpikir sebelumnya.

Hingga suatu saat, ketika sedang haha-hihi dengan teman-teman akrab, kita selalu menerawang ke masa lalu: "Kok bisa ya gue jadi deket sama lo? Awalnya gimana sih?" tentu ngomongnya sambil cekakak-cekikik karena kejadiannya juga absurd dan kadang terlampau bego.

Ada satu rangkaian contoh juga yang baru saya alami dan luar biasa hubungannya. Well, sejak saya pulang dari summer-schoolan di Belanda, saya merasa seketika semesta mendukung! Hal ini tentu mulai dari teman di FB (yang saya kenal dari kegiatan di tempat kerja) membagikan online course gratisan dari kampus terbaik dunia, lalu saya ikutan, dan mereka mengumumkan kalau akan membuka summer school. Lalu, ternyata temen kerja saya, si Vinda, juga sekolah di sana. Lalu sempat galau karena setelah apply dan diterima, saya belum dapat tempat tinggal yang cocok. Teman dekat saya si Ssu kasih tau kalau temannya si Amel juga kuliah di sana. Ternyata, Ssuu pernah minta bikinin gambar ke saya untuk temannya dan ternyata itu Amel! Ternyata juga si Nisa, sohib sekosannya Pia (riorita sesama scholarship hunter), sekolah di Belanda dan pacarnya tinggal di kota yang akan saya kunjungi. Ternyata eh ternyataa Amel, Vinda, serta pacarnya Nisa tinggal sekomplek gedung! Terus saya juga terpaksa berangkat sendiri dan kesana sendirian. Di hari pertama saya tiba, lalu berangkatlah saya ke pasar dan ketemu Safira, classmate summer school dari Kanada yang juga seorang muslim. Safira ini tinggal di kamar temannya yang namanya juga Lia. Setelah itu, kita keliling lagi untuk lihat-lihat Markt di Centruum, eh ketemu Ahtar,anak S2 Landscape TU Delft pas lagi lihat-lihat lapak buku arsitektur. Ternyata Ahtar ini kenal baik dengan Bu Lily, pernah di FCL yang sekarang posisinya di ganti sama Dio, juga anak Arcasia Jamboree 2012. Setelah itu ketemu juga dengan kak Ayu, lalu ketemu Kak Tuty, yang ternyata ngerjain tugas bareng pacarnya Nisa, juga ketemu Phillip yang pernah satu pesawat sama Jokowi, terus beneran ketemu Nisa di hari terakhir, dll etc~~

Well, serangkaian kejadian itu bukan kebetulan semata kan?
Ibaratnya, semua orang sama-sama mendayung perahu kecil di beragam aliran kanal. Ketika alirannya bercabang, kita akan disuruh memilih, akan ke arah manakah alirannya? Kadang arusnya berbatu dan sulit dilalui, namun ada orang lain yang mau menghampiri perahu kita hanya untuk mendorong kita melewati bebatuan itu. Ada pula yang hanya berpapasan, melempar senyum sehingga kita merasa tak sendirian. Ada pula saatnya perahu kita dan banyak orang lain berkumpul, lalu bersama terhibur dengan turbulence nya.

Ah, sekarang mungkin saya mulai paham. Dunia terasa kecil hanya jika kita membuka diri untuk mengenal orang lain, menemukan hal-hal baru, dan menghapus beragam prasangka. Mungkin kamu akan berkata: "Itu kan takdir namanya." Tapi, saya tak akan merasakan takdir itu jika saya tidak memilih kan? Atau apa yang akan terjadi jika saya tidak berusaha untuk mencari tahu apa pilihan terbaik untuk saya?

Well, saya berjanji, jika saya memutuskan untuk memilih, saya akan berusaha membuka pintu untuk beragam peluang itu, sehingga saya akan tahu apakah takdir benar-benar mendukung saya melewati pilihan itu atau tidak.

Nasib sudah tertulis, tapi masa depan kan masih misteri :)

Being Success or Failed

It is time for me to letting my Chevening scholarship gone, as I don't get any reply from my university about my uncoditional LOA. I feel really sad, but deep in my heart I've been blame myself for my pessimistic side.

Chevening is my first scholarship which I'm applied to. I wrote down my essay in 5 hours, uploaded it in the last day. Only miracle letting me get my interview invitation, even get my conditional award. Until one of my worry happened. Ready or not, I have to apply for the university which have a really high standard. Once again, I'm not that confidence. If not because of the Chevening requirement, I won't get my courage to spend more IDR 1 million to get my application done.

Until now, two more days, or else my scholarship will be handed to the reserved awardee. I promised myself I won't cry. 1 month feels like longer than a year. Two days will be my nerve-wrecking moment. Meanwhile, I should be grateful enough I'm preparing for my summer school at TU Delft, NL.

My pray everyday, only God know the best. I've tried, eventhough I know I'm not trying that hard. If my decision can affect and be a positive change even to my surroundings, then God know it will be my new learning proccess. If its only have benefit for myself, I hope I won't get it.

I'm writing this as my healing proccess, as I know I'm growing up writing my everyday moments. I won't forget this time of my life, since it be my important point in my life. Should I get my master degree? Should I lost it to earning more money?

Atleast, I have tried, than dreaming about it all day not doing anything.

Hope for Miracle

Waiting for miracle is the best feeling in the world...
You will be nervous from time to time,
waiting something good happen to you.
When the time is coming,
You can't imagine how you really grateful for the moment
Only in the second, you will forget the hardship you've been through
You will make it as the sweet fruit for all of your sacrifice

Every moments, whether its bad or good, should be cherish all the time.
And keep believing we will have a beautiful result in the end of our time
That's how we hold on for our life and after

Keep believing, Lia
You will know when the time is right

Kartu Ucapan Untuk Keluarga

Well, people posting about all good things happened in their life: where they travelling, whom they met on their working place, share photos with their lover, and kids who just born. I'm lying if I said I'm not jealous. I'm not the type of people who updating all of my life moments, but people do asking me what I'm doing all this time. I am good, and feel content, I assured that. Now I'm enjoying interact with children who honestly express themselves.

If you ask me what is the most successful point of my life, It just happened yesterday. Seri Seni, a community I've been organizing for a half year, did something great. We held a workshop about how to make a greeting card for their love ones. The idea of activity itself come from children, but the concept inspired by a book: "Thinking Hand" by  Juhani Pallasmaa (Thanks to Pia :p). Hand as our precious tool of our body, conveys our mental image, our fondest hope and memory, into muscular activity, then processing the message to the outside of our mind. As a result, the outcome could be understood by the people who shares the same experience. It is great by how our mind and body intertwined in the process of conveying our feelings. That is why, there are no things that could replace the sincerity of drawings by hand.

They were tracing their own hand on a piece of paper, making it a 'love' shape in the middle of it so that they can write a message on it. The outcome is pretty and they were really ambitious of what they create. Even when the time is up, they are still busy decorating their greeting card.

The activity is done, and they gave it to the person they love the most. After posting some of pictures to their whatsapp group, one of their mother said that it made her touched by the message. Well, the message drawn by hand had conveyed and even touched their heart. I feel like I'm doing good today and it can fuel my energy for a whole week.